


Ugarthist

by TheLCM



Category: TOLKIEN J. R. R. - Works & Related Fandoms, The Silmarillion and other histories of Middle-Earth - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: Creation of the Balrogs, Eru Was the Real Dick All Along, F/F, F/M, Feminist Themes, M/M, Morgoth Propaganda, Queer Themes, Retelling, What Sauron Told the Men of Númenor
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-09-22
Updated: 2018-09-22
Packaged: 2019-07-14 19:25:18
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,529
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16046984
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheLCM/pseuds/TheLCM
Summary: "...Thus seven tomes, writ in the hand of Sauron himself, came from the ruins of  Barad-dûr and these were numbered and called ‘Histories’ in the black speech but the elves that remained named them ‘Ugarthist’ or ‘The Lore of Unclean Things’…"





	Ugarthist

_“…It came to pass that in the Fourth Age Elessar, King of Gondor, called soldiers to the ruined vaults of Barad-dûr and slew the foul things lingering there, so that no evil might again take root in its darkness. Thus the might of Gondor was brought to bear and many horrors vanquished. Yet beauty too they found in Sauron’s vaults; books of long-lost Númenor, palantiri, and treasures beyond price and these Elessar ordered burned without exception, for he feared the weakness of Isildur and corruption._

_Then there were those amongst the lords of Gondor who rebelled in their hearts, for they believed their enemy destroyed, and would not see the workings of their forebears lost without need. So it was that spies were sent amongst the king’s forces and objects of both good and ill were borne from the pyres. Greatest and most terrible of these were seven tomes written in the hand of Sauron himself that were numbered and called “Histories” in the black speech and which the elves that remained later named “Ugarthist” or “The Lore of Unclean Things”…”_

**HISTORIES: ONE**

**Ainulindalë**  
_The Breaking of the World_

It was said that in the beginning the Great Awarenesses, who in Valinor are called _Ainur_ , slept and that the Flame Imperishable burned equally in them and infinite were the possibilities of the world. So it was that Erui, _The First_ , rose to walk amongst the mysteries and learned much of creation. Many were his plans and eager his heart, and in his impatience he trespassed into the minds of Ainur, thinking to wake them. In this manner Erui knew them and grew troubled, for his siblings’ dreams were not as his, and in his arrogance, he judged them lesser. Thus it came to pass that, for the love of his own imaginings, he stole the Flame that was their birthright and, arraying himself in ill-got glory, took the name of Eru, which means _The One_ , and Ilúvatar, _Master of Creation_. 

Then from the Ainur Eru selected sixteen alike to him in purpose, rousing them and giving unto each songs of marvelous power; yet in this too they were betrayed, for the music of Eru restrained those parts of their natures that displeased him and made children of those who should have been peers. But such was the joy of awakening that none suspected, and countless were the good and beautiful things lost to them forever. 

And Eru, content in his deception, dubbed them Valar, the Holy Ones, and bade them sing for his pleasure, and two great voices answered his call. These Eru called Melkor, _He Who Arises in Might_ , and Manwë, _The Blessed_ , and he gave back to them some of their powers of old, for once they had been as his brothers and shared a similarity of mind. Then the void was filled with the sounds of lava moving under rocks, breaking stone, and hurricane winds. Long did they strive, crafting visions of such strength and wonder that the Ainur trembled and fell silent. Yet at last another note rose of such surpassing loveliness that even they were quiet, and this was Varda, Queen of Light, whose beauty blazed as the core of suns, burning all who looked upon her. And the Valar grew afraid, for such was the allure of Varda that they could not turn from her. But at the moment of their sharpest fear, a murmur came, soft as smoke and kind as shade, and was as a balm to all that heard it; sweet and cool as the unseen waters that lie beneath mountains. 

Thus arrose the Sixteenth, whose true name may not again be spoken ere the breaking of the world, but those who remember call Nazûllë, for she was the Lady of Sacred Darkness, sister to Nienna, and her domain was Secrets and Relief From Pain. Obsidian was she, wrapped in shadows as a raven’s wing, and ascending she eclipsed the searing light of Varda, and to look on her was to know the glories of all things lost, and the hope of that which remained. Great was their contrast, yet it was said that no duet has ever been fairer nor more well-matched, for where they touched Varda softened and Nazûllë’s black eyes filled with the glitter of stars. 

Then Nazûllë took Varda beneath her veils and wove for her a crown and cape of night, that others might look upon her without pain, and the pinpricks in its folds twinkled to form the first constellations. Thus their song was ended and other voices spoke, but Nazûllë paid them little heed, for her breast was full with the brightness of Elbereth.

So the first music came to its close and Eru was much pleased, believing the fulfillment of his dream close at hand. And calling the Ainur to him, he spoke. “Of the theme that I have declared to you, I will now that ye make in harmony together a Great Music. Heavy is that task, and requiring all of your powers and to this end, I would grant a boon to ye, that you find joy in your long labors. Aulë. Yavanna.” Here he stretched out his mighty arm, summoning those to whom he spoke. “For well I know thee, better even than thyselves, and of the gifts that I may grant, the best by far is love,” and saying thus, he brought the hands of Aulë and Yavanna close, and placed their palms one against the other’s. “Strong is Aulë, in works and will, and supple is Yavanna. May his rock be the ground in which you grow, and may her roots reach to the heart of mountains.” Then he sent them on their way, turning his favor upon the sea lord, Ulmo. “Ulmo; vast thou art and some say cold -- but I have seen in thee a love beyond the ken of most and know of one who has much pleasure in secrets,” and he spoke a name that none now may know, summoning Nazûllë.

Yet Nazûllë moved not from Varda’s side, though fear shook her, for hers was the realm of mysteries and alone of the Valar, she knew of Erui and what he had done. “My lord,” she said, bowing her head. “I am thy vessel, and sworn to follow thee in all things, but ask this not of me, for my soul has seen its perfect joy and would not have another.”

Then Eru hesitated, for he found strangeness in this love of Queens such as he had neither foreseen nor understood; but in that instant, Ulmo stirred, crying out, for he had been moved by Eru’s words and in his deepest heart, had admired the Lady of Shadowed Veils. “It is folly to deny the works of Eru, for is he not our Lord and Father, who recognizes us as his own thoughts? Forget this fancy, my Lady, and repent; whatever our wisdom his outstrips it and by his name I shall also swear to have no other.”

“Well spoken,” Eru proclaimed, sure again of the merit of his vision, before addressing Nazûllë in the tones a parent might use upon a spoiled child. “Now put aside this pique, o mysterious one, and heed the wisdom of your lord, that you may consign great secrets to his depths, and he might deck you in pearls and rare jewels lost at sea.”

But he had misjudged the feelings of Nazûllë, and the condescension of his words touched too deep and ire overcame her terror. “No lord of mine is Ulmo! Nor thee, Eru Pretender! Hark!” She proclaimed, so the might of her voice was as thunder. And darkness formed like a mirror above her, in which the Valar perceived the truth as she spoke it. “Erui thou art -- The First in waking and in treachery, brother to Manwe and Melkor, who stole from us the Flame Imperishable and would have his kin for thralls. No,” she laughed, and it was the sound of deep things, dark and terrible. “No lord at all -- Usurper, I name thee, as shall others, and may curses follow thee until the ending of the world.”

Then there was chaos amongst the Ainur, and terrible was the shame of Eru, but worse his wrath, and he called the great forces that he had took and moved to strike the Valie dead. But here he erred for he had forgotten Melkor, proudest amongst the Ainur save Eru alone, and whose rage at their castration was deep as the bottoms of oceans and hot as the core of stars; and as the blow was raised he attacked with the fragment of Fire still within himself, piercing Eru so that he was pinned against the ground. And Nazûllë joined him, and by their combined might and his own confusion he was held and Melkor, turned to Manwë, flung out his hand and cried, “Brother, to me!” 

And had Manwë given his aid, still the day might have been won and many hurts erased. But in the critical moment Manwë faltered, for the will of his heart was unknown to him and he liked not seeing Varda wrapped in darkness. So it was that Eru broke free, and Melkor and Nazûllë were defeated and for Manwë’s weakness those who remember named him Snaga Skraefa, _The Craven Slave_. 

Horrible then was the fury of Eru, grown tall as cliffs over stormy seas, and in that moment he would have crushed them. But Nienna, whose realms were Mercy and Justice for the Weak, threw herself between them and spoke on behalf of her sister and he who had protected her. Bright as mithril were her tears and such was the sweetness of her voice that all who heard were moved to pity. And Eru saw that the moment had turned against him, and if he attacked now the sixteen would set on him in truth and even his stolen strength might not defeat them. Thus he stayed his anger, though the set of his face was grim and stern. “Fair indeed are the pleas of Nienna, yet I am Ilúvatar, Master of Creation, and it is not for thoughts to turn against the mind that made them and such rebellion may not go unchastised.” 

And Nienna rose again, crying, “I understand, my lord, and I accede. But if it pleases thee, I would take my sister’s place, for she is elder, and in the days to come, shall be of greater use to thee.” And in her determination, she would not stand down, though Nazûllë begged her to save herself and be silent. 

“Peace, o child; you shall have as you desire, for by thy words I spare your kinswoman, and by them also shall you share of her punishment.” Then Eru brought unto his hand the Flame Imperishable, and shaped it as a blade, and this he plunged deep into Nazûllë’s breast.

Nazûllë screamed. Nienna wailed. Her brothers froze and Melkor again struggled against the forces that held him. And Eru looked into Nazûllë’s eyes and, seeing the stars of Varda fading there, spoke her Name, which cannot be repeated, and her Doom: “Inviolate is the will of Ilúvatar and death shall not have you today, though you might wish it. In malice and unnatural desire you have brought strife amongst the Valar and for that I take from thee your fairness, and your name.” And he twisted the Flame Imperishable so that energy spilled from her and where it touched corruption spread, so that her glass-clear skin grew brittle and hard, and limbs like iron burrowed up from her spine. 

Great then was the agony of Nazûllë and though Eru’s power was as a vise around them all, this at last broke Varda’s silence; weeping she begged that Eru stop but he was fixed in his judgement and heeded her not. So it was that Nazûllë eyes split and coarse hairs sprouted from her carapace, and when at last mandibles forced their way from her delicate mouth the light of Elbereth left her completely; so where Nazûllë had been a monstrous spider now stood, and the Valar looked away and were sickened. But Eru’s visage was stern and he commanded, “Look! Here at last I have exposed the truth of secrets and darkness; though I am not unkind, see?” The last he addressed to the beast herself. “For I have given thee many eyes to spy and legs to hunt with, and the means for weaving new veils of your own. Yet all memory of you and your name I do take, that they not again appear in the thoughts or mouths of any, ere the breaking of the world. But your foul lusts you shall keep, festering to madness in your breast, until they drive you to a hunger for bright things that may never be fulfilled; a thirst which will never be quenched. Let that which is good and bright of her scorch thee to touch, as will the knowledge of thee be burned from existence. Now get thee gone from my sight, o Ungoliant, _Queen of Unhallowed Filth_. Let darkness be forever more associated with thy stink and inspire hatred in all that are good in my sight.” At this his will became as a portal beneath her, and she vanished. 

Then deafening was the roar of Melkor, though impotent, and on the True Name of Nazûllë that had not yet left him, he swore to have neither rest nor peace until the Flame Imperishable had been returned and the Ainu herself restored.

Still, the retribution of Ilúvatar was incomplete, and turning to his once-brother he said, “Melkor, thou art dear to me, and though deceived by the Lady, still your actions have wrought much harm this day and destroyed without recourse the happiness of Ulmo, thy kin. Thus I curse thee: that you may forever be denied the joys of a wife, and that womankind shall shun thee; now and forever after.”

And Melkor gritted his teeth, chafing at injunction of any sort, yet in his private heart he was glad; for little did he care for soft or feminine things and he had nought but distaste for the ‘gift’ of Ilúvatar. On this matter, however, he held his tongue and was silent so that Eru, thinking him humbled, passed on. 

“Nienna; well indeed are you suited to the ways of mercy, but I see now that it blinds you; for your actions, I remove from you the domain of Justice, which henceforth shall be only the province of thy brother and his dead.”

But Nienna lifted her head and wrapping herself in the gray veils of her sister, replied, “Boundless is thy wisdom, my lord. Yet, if thou allowest it, I would take up instead the ways of grief; for though I lose my sister and all the happenings of this hour, I would have some memorial to its sorrow.”

To this, Eru nodded his assent, and as he did, finished at last a spell of deep forgetting which he released as a pulse of light and sound upon the Valar. And those that it touched became blind and deaf, and when they recovered, had no memory of Nazûllë or her defiance. And all save Melkor, Nienna, and Ulmo found themselves wed, and again, Ilúvatar was to them as Maker and God.

Then Eru rose above them, and continued his speech on Harmony and the Great Music, and when he was done they harkened and sang as though there had been no interruption. And for a time, it was good. 

Yet restlessness woke in the breast of Melkor, with an itch as one seeking a word on the tip of their tongue, and the longer he listened, the more the melody seemed hollow to him; empty and incomplete. And often in frustration he retreated from it, traveling deep into the void to soothe his turmoil in silence. 

Many times and long did he meditate in that nothingness, exploring the corridors of his mind until it seemed that he could see a pattern of absences in his thoughts; places of blankness and quiet that were irrevocably wrong. Thus he who was the Mightiest and Cleverest of the Valar bent the full force of his will upon these, and with the spark of the Flame Imperishable Ilúvatar had left him, defeated Eru’s enchantment and _remembered_. 

Then a rage of the likes Eä has never again seen took him and he returned to his brethren, intending to speak on all of Erui’s treacheries and rally his kinfolk against him. But such was the power of Ilúvatar that though he held Nazûllë firm in his mind he could not speak of her, and Eru saw and was amused at his trying. And Melkor, knowing he could not stand against Eru alone, remembered his vow and an idea came to him, and he changed the nature of his song. 

So it came to pass that Melkor spoke of love denied, stolen birthright and betrayal, and discord came amongst the Ainur. And as his voice soared it seemed to some that they could recall a little of what Erui had stolen and they joined Melkor, and by their collective workings, thoughts of Nazûllë returned into the world. But Eru had learned much from the last confrontation and it was only when Varda, beautiful and ignorant of the shadows in her crown, faltered that he lifted his hand and intervened. 

Then a new theme began, as if amidst a storm, like and yet unlike to the former, and it gathered power and carried the honeyed promise of forgetting. But the discord of Melkor rose in uproar to speak of kin contending against kin, sundered lovers, and sins of greed and again there was a war of sound more violent than before, until memories both false and true contended and many of the Ainur were dismayed and sang no longer. In that moment Melkor came close to mastery, and tears streamed down Varda’s face and she took no comfort from the assurances of her husband.

So again Ilúvatar rose, countenance stern, and as he lifted his right hand a third theme grew amid the confusion, and it was unlike the others. For it seemed at first soft and sweet, a mere rippling of gentle sounds in delicate melodies; but it could not be quenched, and it took to itself power and profundity. And it seemed at last that there were two musics progressing at one time before the seat of Ilúvatar, and they were utterly at variance. The first was subtle and vast, perfect in the way of dolls and gems, for there was no part of it that was not of Eru, and to him the wills of all others were bound subservient. By contrast the other was loud, nigh to ugly; for it spoke of harsh truths of traumas repeated, and the dark and messy souls of living things. 

Thus did lovely falsehood content with cruel honesty, but as people of Nazûllë gained ground it occured to Eru to take Melkor’s chorus from him and he sent waves of frost which sapped all warmth, destroying many. And seeing that the day should now be lost, Melkor remembered his vow, and at awful cost, gave of his own great power that his followers should be cloaked in shadow and flame and spared the freezing of Ilúvatar. So the Ainur he’d changed grew mighty, and named themselves Înatarût, or _Truth Keepers_ , for each now bore a spark of the Fire Imperishable and the Sacred Darkness of Nazûllë; and these were they who, through the lies of Eru, came later to be called Balrogs. Then with new spirit did the hosts of Melkor raise voices against Ilúvatar’s tune, drowning platitudes in violence. 

Yet even as the halls there shook, Ilúvatar arose a third time, and his face was terrible to behold. Then he raised up both his hands, and with one chord, deeper than the Abyss, higher than the Firmament, piercing as the light of the eye of Ilúvatar; time and the Music ceased.

Alone amongst Ainur still as statues, Melkor met his once-brother’s eyes. Then Ilúvatar spoke, and he said: 'Mighty are the Ainur, and mightiest among them is Melkor; but I have seen all that is to come and can ever be, and I tell you now if you continue this fight, all your works shall end in misery and darkness. Yet still I say, if you repent I will place you at my right hand, and shower thee with all the treasures of the world.”

But Melkor’s honor and pride were greater than any greed and he replied, “Of what value are the words of a proven liar, or gifts that from myself were stolen? No. Rather I should live my days in agony than spend but a moment as thy thrall.” And he spat in the face of Ilúvatar, who was as a god. Thus Eru forever turned from him who had been his favorite, and consigned the Ainur to the horrors of war.

**Author's Note:**

> Huge thanks to [Zalija](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zalija), who was an awesome beta and helped me on all the translations, especially having to do with the Black Speech. Also, you should totally check out her [art](http://that-one-stranger.tumblr.com/post/178255502991/so-the-lovely-masonmerger-asked-me-to-draw-a) for the moment when Eru's cursing Melkor. It is great and you will laugh. <3
> 
> Also much love to [chokingonwhys](https://archiveofourown.org/users/chokingonwhys/pseuds/chokingonwhys) (and [pianosand](https://pianosand.tumblr.com/)!) who were also incredible. Thanks for dealing with the run on sentences from hell.
> 
> One note on the use of the Sindarin "Elbereth" for Varda -- chokingonwhys pointed out that it's not entirely period appropriate but given that Sauron is writing this after the fact (probs starts post the waking of the elves) I've decided that since he's an extra bitch, he'd probably just put it in to be flowery/because he felt like it.


End file.
